Pocket Doppler Prognosticators – Week 6
Once again the call has been made to gather the great Pocket Doppler Prognosticators to try to outsmart, outwit and outsnark each other. But let’s face it, it’s not as simple as calling, “Avengers Assemble!” More like herding cats if you ask me. This year yet another Founding Father
weenied out retired. This year’s crack team of suckers experts will include Founding Father Wally, Angels Colleen and Kelly, Favored King of Procrastination Stepson Rich and the relatively new spanks Thaddeus and Jay.
Colleen: 14 Kelly: 11
Rich:9 Jay:11 Thaddeus:8 (Guest editor’s note – this would have been up before the morning games, but it wasn’t. Then the Packers gave me a heart attack. Sorry.)
Green Bay at Baltimore – The first game of more than a few sans Clay Matthews for the Packers so it’ll be time for Mike Neal & Nick Perry to prove their play the previous week vs Detroit wasn’t a fluke. We’ll also see extended play from Jamarcus Lattimore as Brad Jones is out & that actually worries me a bit more than Matthews’ absence. Joe Flacco doesn’t worry me as much as Ray Rice does so I’m hoping the defensive line can stop him up at the point of attack because of Rice gets to the second level it won’t be good. All week & I’ve chimed in on it too, we’ve heard bloggers, MSM guys & even the Packers say they have to work harder in the Red Zone to get 7 & not settle for 3. The Baltimore defense isn’t as stout as it has been in previous years so I’m hoping the Packers’ new dedication to touchdowns within the 20’s can manifest itself this Sunday. If it does I’m pretty confident of a win. If we settle for field goals again I think the Packers still win but not as convincingly.
New Orleans at New England – Will the Patriots be able to knock the Saints from the ranks of the unbeaten? New England will have the benefit of playing at home & possibly the return of Gronk to give Brady another target. That being said the Saints are on a good run right now & I think they get the job done to move on to 7-0.
Washington at Dallas – I almost feel bad for Tony Romo after last weekend’s last minutes loss to the Broncos. Then I remembered it’s the Cowboys and while my level of distain for them is nowhere near it used to be I can’t be all that sympathetic towards them. I’m going with Washington here if for no other reason than I need RG3 to put up some points because my fantasy team has been sucking with him…well, sucking too.
Indianapolis at San Diego – Last week I totally whiffed on this pick, picking the obvious favorite only to get up ended by the Jets. Even though the Colts are flying across pretty much the entire country for this game, I’m going to do the same thing & pick the obvious favorite again because one of these times it has to work.
Wally’s Picks: Green Bay, New Orleans, Washington & Indianapolis
Green Bay at Baltimore
Green Bay against the vaunted Super Bowl champions. (Not vaunted in my book.) Baltimore isn’t the team they were last year, and despite the loss of Clay Matthews, I think Green Bay will win this game. Not as handily as some people, but I think they win. Suck it, Joe Flacco.
New Orleans at New England
Hm. Two coaches I can’t stand and two quarterbacks I can’t stand. Can a meteor hit this game? That would be preferable to one of them winning. Flip a coin of awfulness and it comes up ass, I mean Sean Payton. Saints win.
Washington at Dallas
While I hate Jerry Jones, I hope after Dan Snyder’s ignorant open letter defending the Washington mascot’s name this week that the Cowboys wipe the field with his team. I sincerely want the Cowboys to crush the Redskins and make Shanatan enraged. Cowboys win.
Indianapolis at San Diego
Indy isn’t as good as they were a year ago, I don’t think but they sucked for Luck and he’s proven to be a fine QB. San Diego is always a threat, but they have whinybaby, I mean Philip Rivers as a QB, so I’m taking the Colts.
Baltimore will beat Green Bay. Why do you say? Because whenever I bet against the Pack, they win. And I don’t mind eating a sack of crap every week if that means the Packers win. So, deal with it. As if I care.
New Orleans beats New England. New England just doesn’t have the healthy personnel or the sneaky videographers this season to hang with the big boys. Jimmy Graham and Drew Brees are so keyed in on each other that it looks like they are having a bromance. Tom Brady doesn’t care too much about losing because he gets to go home to a Victoria’s Secret girl. I can, too, but his isn’t made out of paper.
Dallas beats Washington. Tony Romo will throw a fourth quarter interception. But, the good thing this time around is the Cowboys will be up by at least 28 at this point. Jerry Jones will call his son is law, on his flip phone, to polish his shoes. This is because the game will be out of hand by the fourth quarter and quite boring. So, Jerry can be Jerry.
Indianapolis beats San Diego. C’mon. It’s Phillip Rivers. The dude sidearms worse than Tim Tebow. And he’s just as much of a douche. Indy is getting tougher by the week, especially that defense of theirs. Add Trent Richardson (Roll Tide) on offense, they are a tough team to beat.
New Orleans at New England: New England are still a gritty team, but New Orleans have bombastic firepower. This’ll be a blowout. New Orleans 38-21
Washington at Dallas: Will Ted Cruz be at this game? He should. In Red face. I haven’t figured how to make a “Trail of Tears” reference but call Cruz and he can help after his Bataan comments! Dallas wins 28-13.
Indianapolis at San Diego: Is San Diego good or are they like they’ve been for the past few years? Just good enough to rope you in before kneecapping you. I’m gonna go with the latter, but I’m higher on Luck than Rivers is on…..we’ll leave that alone. Indianapolis with the away win 28-24.