nfl-crystalball Once again the call has been made to gather the great Pocket Doppler Prognosticators to try to outsmart, outwit and outsnark each other. But let’s face it, it’s not as  simple as calling, “Avengers Assemble!” More like herding cats if you ask me. This year yet another Founding Father weenied out retired. This year’s crack team of suckers experts will include Founding Father Wally, Angels Colleen and Kelly, Favored  King of Procrastination Stepson Rich and the relatively new spanks Thaddeus and Jay.

The Score:
Wally: 14
Colleen: 14
Kelly: 11
Rich:9
Jay:11
Thaddeus:8
 
 
(Guest editor’s note – this would have been up before the morning games, but it wasn’t.  Then the Packers gave me a heart attack.  Sorry.)

 

Wally:

Green Bay at Baltimore – The first game of more than a few sans Clay Matthews for the Packers so it’ll be time for Mike Neal & Nick Perry to prove their play the previous week vs Detroit wasn’t a fluke. We’ll also see extended play from Jamarcus Lattimore as Brad Jones is out & that actually worries me a bit more than Matthews’ absence. Joe Flacco doesn’t worry me as much as Ray Rice does so I’m hoping the defensive line can stop him up at the point of attack because of Rice gets to the second level it won’t be good. All week & I’ve chimed in on it too, we’ve heard bloggers, MSM guys & even the Packers say they have to work harder in the Red Zone to get 7 & not settle for 3. The Baltimore defense isn’t as stout as it has been in previous years so I’m hoping the Packers’ new dedication to touchdowns within the 20’s can manifest itself this Sunday. If it does I’m pretty confident of a win. If we settle for field goals again I think the Packers still win but not as convincingly.

New Orleans at New England – Will the Patriots be able to knock the Saints from the ranks of the unbeaten? New England will have the benefit of playing at home & possibly the return of Gronk to give Brady another target. That being said the Saints are on a good run right now & I think they get the job done to move on to 7-0.

Washington at Dallas – I almost feel bad for Tony Romo after last weekend’s last minutes loss to the Broncos. Then I remembered it’s the Cowboys and while my level of distain for them is nowhere near it used to be I can’t be all that sympathetic towards them. I’m going with Washington here if for no other reason than I need RG3 to put up some points because my fantasy team has been sucking with him…well, sucking too.

Indianapolis at San Diego – Last week I totally whiffed on this pick, picking the obvious favorite only to get up ended by the Jets. Even though the Colts are flying across pretty much the entire country for this game, I’m going to do the same thing & pick the obvious favorite again because one of these times it has to work.

Wally’s Picks: Green Bay, New Orleans, Washington & Indianapolis

Colleen:

Green Bay at Baltimore

Green Bay against the vaunted Super Bowl champions. (Not vaunted in my book.) Baltimore isn’t the team they were last year, and despite the loss of Clay Matthews, I think Green Bay will win this game. Not as handily as some people, but I think they win. Suck it, Joe Flacco.

New Orleans at New England

Hm. Two coaches I can’t stand and two quarterbacks I can’t stand. Can a meteor hit this game? That would be preferable to one of them winning. Flip a coin of awfulness and it comes up ass, I mean Sean Payton. Saints win.

Washington at Dallas

While I hate Jerry Jones, I hope after Dan Snyder’s ignorant open letter defending the Washington mascot’s name this week that the Cowboys wipe the field with his team. I sincerely want the Cowboys to crush the Redskins and make Shanatan enraged. Cowboys win.

Indianapolis at San Diego

Indy isn’t as good as they were a year ago, I don’t think but they sucked for Luck and he’s proven to be a fine QB. San Diego is always a threat, but they have whinybaby, I mean Philip Rivers as a QB, so I’m taking the Colts.

Colleen’s picks: Green Bay,  New Orleans, Dallas and Indianapolis.
Kelly:
Green Bay at Baltimore –  Sure, Rodgers and Flacco are commanding similar salaries. But one is a former league MVP and the other guy won the Super Bowl playing a game of 500 like an 8 year old boy would do. But I hate to admit it: it’s an even pairing if you take Rodgers out of the mix. Then again Charles Woodson has famously stated that Rodgers is definitely the difference between greatness and a 7-9 team. Packers all the way.
New Orleans at New England – Here is my meteor match-up this week. I hate both teams. I hate both QBs and I really can’t stand the two cheaterpants head coaches. Seriously, smoldering crater for the win. So sick of hearing how they are the anointed ones. Blah blah blah bored now. But New Orleans is going to win and Tom Bundchen is going to pout. Don’t care.
Washington at Dallas – Dear NFL, once upon a time an NFC North match-up would be a great SNF game. Now, it’s a steaming pile of dog poo. Romo is either not bad or stinky stank horrible, RGIII ain’t what he used to be. Peyton’s brother is even worse. And then there is a puppy stomper. But I think RGIII is in need of a good game, and Jerry Jones can suck a truck.
Indianapolis at San Diego – Here’s the deal. I like Luck and think Rivers is a humorless turd sandwich. Seriously, does anyone even cheer for the Chargers?
Kelly’s picks: Green Bay, New Orleans, Washington, Indianapolis.

 

Jay:

Baltimore will beat Green Bay.  Why do you say?  Because whenever I bet against the Pack, they win.  And I don’t mind eating a sack of crap every week if that means the Packers win.  So, deal with it. As if I care.

New Orleans beats New England.  New England just doesn’t have the healthy personnel or the sneaky videographers this season to hang with the big boys.  Jimmy Graham and Drew Brees are so keyed in on each other that it looks like they are having a bromance.  Tom Brady doesn’t care too much about losing because he gets to go home to a Victoria’s Secret girl.  I can, too, but his isn’t made out of paper.

Dallas beats Washington.  Tony Romo will throw a fourth quarter interception.  But, the good thing this time around is the Cowboys will be up by at least 28 at this point.  Jerry Jones will call his son is law, on his flip phone, to polish his shoes.  This is because the game will be out of hand by the fourth quarter and quite boring.  So, Jerry can be Jerry.

Indianapolis beats San Diego.  C’mon.  It’s Phillip Rivers.  The dude sidearms worse than Tim Tebow.  And he’s just as much of a douche.  Indy is getting tougher by the week, especially that defense of theirs.  Add Trent Richardson (Roll Tide) on offense, they are a tough team to beat.

Jay’s picks: Green Bay, New Orleans, Dallas and Indianapolis.
Rich and Thaddeus:
Rich was abducted by aliens. Let’s see Thad’s picks.
Green Bay at Baltimore:I’ll actually be at this game. My first Packers game of the 2013 season. The first six Packers games I saw in my life were all wins. It was all good until my trip to Kansas City in which the Packers were on their way to an undefeated season. We all know how that ended.Then I was at Century Link Field last year for ‘Fail Mary’. Yes. The last Packers game I attended was last year against the Giants in New Jersey, in which the Packers played so terribly that Graham Harrell got significant playing time in the fourth quarter.My point is that my luck needs to change. The Packers are racking up injuries like they get extra credit for filling up the injury report. The Ravens are a team that’ll punch you in the face over and over. Everything needs to go the Packers way to get a win. Don’t worry, I’ve been throwing salt over my shoulder all weekend!Packers 17-14

New Orleans at New England: New England are still a gritty team, but New Orleans have bombastic firepower. This’ll be a blowout. New Orleans 38-21

Washington at Dallas: Will Ted Cruz be at this game? He should. In Red face. I haven’t figured how to make a “Trail of Tears” reference but call Cruz and he can help after his Bataan comments! Dallas wins 28-13.

Indianapolis at San Diego: Is San Diego good or are they like they’ve been for the past few years? Just good enough to rope you in before kneecapping you. I’m gonna go with the latter, but I’m higher on Luck than Rivers is on…..we’ll leave that alone. Indianapolis with the away win 28-24.

Thaddeus’ picks:  Green Bay, New Orleans,  Dallas, and Indianapolis.
 

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