nfl-crystalball Once again the call has been made to gather the great Pocket Doppler Prognosticators to try to outsmart, outwit and outsnark each other. But let’s face it, it’s not as  simple as calling, “Avengers Assemble!” More like herding cats if you ask me. This year yet another Founding Father weenied out retired. This year’s crack team of suckers experts will include Founding Father Wally, Angels Colleen and Kelly, Favored  King of Procrastination Stepson Rich and the relatively new spanks Thaddeus and Jay.

The Score:
Wally: 6
Colleen: 6
Kelly: 4
Rich: 4
Jay: 6
Thaddeus: 3

Wally:

Green Bay at Cincinnati – Remember when a trip to Cincinnati to play the Bengals was just a formality as you knew the Packers were going to win, just had to get that pesky game out of the way. Well, times they have changed and the Bengals are a bona fide solid team now & early favorites to win the AFC North. Dalton has matured as a QB, AJ Green is a beast at wide out & rookie RB Giovani Bernard is coming off of a break out game where he made it to the end zone twice. What concerns me here in this game is the same thing that has concerned me the first two games, once again no Morgan Burnett. Tramon Williams will be on Green I’m guessing & Dom will give him Safety help over the top but I’m not too keen on who actually will be helping. No way the defense shuts out the Bengals for as long as they did Washington the week before, but I don’t think that will matter because if it turns into a track meet my money is on Aaron Rodgers & the Packers offense to put more points on the board. Packers win by a TD to head into the early bye week

Atlanta at Miami – Atlanta will win this game, they’ll win the crap out of it. I’m not sure there’s really much more to say about this match-up. So, well…hey, did you hear that Corey Hart would like to come back to play for the Brewers & is willing to give a discount to do it?  It’s a pretty stand up move by Hart if you ask me.  I’ve never been a big fan of Hart, not sure why but has never really clicked for me. I’m thinking the Brewers will bring Hart back but with the way Sean Halton has been playing late in the season, a true first basemen, I think the 3 will be an open competition come Spring Training.

Chicago at Pittsburgh – I have a hard time believing that Pittsburgh is 0-2. Not because they don’t deserve to be there but more so the Steelers are just one of those teams I’ve been conditioned to thing will be at the very least competitive year in and year out. It’s early so there could be a bounce back I suppose but it doesn’t look very hopeful. Oh, Chicago will win this one too.

Oakland at Denver – Remember what I said above about Atlanta winning the crap out of their game?  Well Denver is going to win the shit out of this one.  It’ll be 56 – 0 by halftime. Here’s something interesting though, did you know ‘This Night’ by Billy Joel off the Innocent Man album is based off of the Second Movement of Beethoven’s Pathétique Sonata ? I remember the first time I made the connection, was in a intro Music History class in college, nearly fell out of my desk. Go listen to the Beethoven first (just the first couple stanzas should be enough), then the Billy Joel one, wait till the chorus starts you’ll hear it right away, obviously much quicker  Oh, Barry Manilow took a lot of this themes from Chopin too, in case you were wondering.

Wally’s Picks: Green Bay, Atlanta, Chicago & Denver

Colleen:

Green Bay at Cincinnati – A year ago, this would have been an automatic Packers pick.  The Bengals, however, appear not to be the Bungles this year.  In fact, I’m a little worried about this game.  I think Green Bay is firing on all cylinders finally (with the exception of needing Burnett back, badly) and that gives me some comfort, but ultimately, this game comes down to one thing.  My friend Jayme Snowden will be at the game cheering for Johnny Jolly and he won’t let her down. Packers win.
Atlanta at Miami – Hm….I hate the Dirty Birds and I like Joe Philbin and Mike Sherman.  That’s good enough for me.  Miami wins.
Chicago at Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh looked awful last week.  So awful, in fact, that apparently they felt the need to have a ‘Come To Jesus’ meeting this week in the locker room.  While it would be nice if this meeting had the same impact on the Steelers that the one the Packers had in the run up to Super Bowl XLV, I don’t see it happening.  The Steelers, frankly, suck.  Worse than the Bears, more’s the pity. Get ready to keep hearing about how fantastic Jay Cutler is.  I hope I’m wrong, but the Bears are going to smoke the Steelers.
 Oakland at Denver – If Matt Flynn was starting, I’d be cheering for Oakland with all my heart.  Stupid Raiders.  That said, since I really, really hate Mr. Ed, I’ll be cheering for the Raiders anyway.  But they won’t win, even with Ryan Clady now being out on the OL for the rest of the year for Denver.  Good luck, Oakland, but I’m sure we won’t see much Manningface in this game.  Denver wins.
Colleen’s picks: Green Bay, Miami, Bears, Denver
Kelly:
Green Bay at Cincinnati – I have a bad feeling about this. I mean, the Bengals are no longer the Bengals and may have a deep playoff run. Depends if the Packers that pounded the Redskins shows up or the team that can’t find its rhythm. This will be a tough game. I  predicted a loss in a podcast a few weeks ago, but I’m hopeful the Packers can eke it out. But Rodgers can’t do it alone. The other players need to be part of this victory. I’m looking at you, secondary.
Atlanta at Miami – Again, another rising team that could be a wrench in the works for one of the old guard. I like how Miami has matured. So, Go Joe!
Chicago at Pittsburgh – I don’t think Chicago is as good as they think they are because, well, hello Cutler. But Pittsburgh is going to cost Tomlin his jobT year. They just stink. They have no talent. And they don’t stand a chance. This breaks my heart.
Oakland at Denver – Free Matty Flynn! I don’t like Denver. They have a horse faced arrogant swine in the front office. While Manning is a phenomenal QB, I have never liked him. This won’t even be close. It’s going to be  bloodbath. They may as well line up in Oakland and start setting up the blood donors.
Kelly’s Picks: Green bay, Miami, Chicago, Oakland
Rich:
Green Bay at Cincinnati – NFL Media Columnist at NFL.com, Adam Schein published an article on Thursday evening that featured some very important lines:

We are living in the Aaron Rodgers Era of Greatness.

The guy had an all-time great performance against the Washington Redskins last Sunday, and a nation sort of shrugged its collective shoulders.

The reality is, it’s Aaron Rodgers’ world, and we’re just living in it. We need to appreciate and applaud; we need to stop and smell the roses.

You’ll tell your grandkids you saw Manning and Brady, and you’ll also tell them you saw Aaron Rodgers.

And here’s the beautiful part: He’s only just begun.

Atlanta at Miami –

Party in the city where the heat is on
All night, on the beach till the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami
Bouncin’ in the club where the heat is on
All night, on the beach till the break of dawn
I’m goin’ to Miami
Welcome to Miami
-Will Smith, Big Willie Style

Chicago at Pittsburgh – I’m still holding out hope my career as a comedian will take off before I reach my late 20’s. I’d like to practice if you don’t mind. Okay, here goes… who blocks for Jay Cutler?

Oakland at Denver – Do you recall that scene in Breaking Bad when Walt and Jesse melt a dead body in Jesse’s grandmother’s bathtub? Yeah, this game will be like that—except without the gore, maybe.
Rich’s picks: Green Bay, Miami, Pittsburgh, Denver

Jay:

Green Bay at Cincinnati – Green Bay wins a nail biter over Cincinnati.  The Packers offense is clicking and the Bengals secondary is banged up.  But, Rodgers will be facing a very stout and aggressive defensive line.  Hopefully, Rodgers can play upright all day.  The Packers will put some points in the board for sure, but so will the Bengals.  The Bengals have a very potent offense of their own with AJ Green and Giovani Bernard. The Packers are a little banged up in the secondary themselves, so this could turn into a barn burner before the clock runs out. Whoever has the ball last will probably be the winning team.

Atlanta at Miami -  Atlanta will beat Miami.  The Dolphins are an upstart team this year, and former Packers OC Joe Philbin has them playing good football.  But, the Falcons are a sleeping giant.  They are going to put some serious points on the board behind Julio Jones, Tony Gonzalez, and Matt Ryan.  They will miss the injured Stephen Jackson, but the passing offense will just be too much.

Chicago at Pittsburgh – Chicago will win at Pittsburgh.  This isn’t so much a ringing endorsement of the new Marc Trestman aerial circus as it is an indictment of aging Steelers.  The Steelers have gotten slow and old in recent years, and I think this is the year the go over the cliff (but not the Spinal Tap 11 cliff).  I foresee a rebuilding project in Pittsburgh starting next year.  And, since the Steelers are missing their starting center to injury, Big Ben will be the one getting assaulted for a change.

Oakland at Denver – Denver absolutely throttles Oakland.  The Raiders are horrid.  I like what Reggie McKenzie is doing out in Oakland, but he inherited a mess worse than the SMU death penalty.  It will take some time for the Raiders to be competitive on a weekly basis.  Even though Denver just lost their starting left tackle for the season, the Broncos have too much firepower.  They may even hang 45-50+ on the Raiders.

Jay’s Picks: Green Bay, Atlanta, Chicago, Denver

Thaddeus:

Green Bay at Cincinnati – Why does Green Bay have a week 4 bye? I feel like they’re just getting going? Anyway, the Packers had better make sure they don’t get punched in a mouth by sneaky Cincinnati team. Green Bay has their usual assortment of injuries so far. They’ll sneak out a victory 21-17.

Atlanta at Miami – Two teams that I know nothing about. I do know that Tony Gonzalez is on my fantasy team so he better make something happen! 35-10 Durty Birrds!!

Chicago at Pittsburgh-  No need to take Ambien, folks! Watch this game! Over/under on interceptions thrown by both QBS? I’d take 3 and the over. Pittsburgh wins 24-21.

Oakland at Denver -  Charles Woodson, come back and play safety for us! There’s some dude named “Guitar Johhny” or some string instrument playing safety for the Pack. No bueno! Just like my interest in this matchup! 27-20 Denver.

Thaddeus’ picks: Green Bay, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Denver

 

Tags: