Pocket Doppler Prognosticators – Week 12
Each week last season, the 3 Founding Fathers of Pocket Doppler (Wally, Harland O. Dog & Chris Richards), Senior Angel Colleen and favored stepson Rich would square off in picking the winner of the Packers, Sunday night & MNF games in an attempt to prove their football acumen and entertain. We’re going to make another valiant attempt at it this year. Unfortunately Chris had to bow out for this season (or happily escaped, take your pick) so Angel Kelly has joined the team. Like always, we’ll keep a running tally throughout the season.
Welcome to this week’s edition of the Pocket Doppler Prognosticators. Entering into Week 12 the current standings are:
Harland O. Dog: 21
Only Rich had an imperfect week last week, so while Harland O. Dog dreams of his ‘inevitable’ comeback (hahahaha), Kelly remains in the lead. On to this week’s picks. And no, the editor didn’t pick the 49ers and Saints as the makeup game, because she’s not jinxing Colin Kaepernick in his 2nd NFL start, now that he’s had his ‘Favre-esque’ breakthrough. There seems to be some variations on picks this week, so the field should be spread out a bit more come next week.
Harland O. Dog
Bills @ Colts (make-up game) – What’s there really to say about this game? (Why ”someone” picked it is beyond me.) Two teams that were victims of the Patriots in Foxboro within the last two weeks. Which is the better way to lose? The Bills played ‘em tough before boning up at the end while the Colts got absolutely pasted. If you can find some insight among those two results you’re better than I am. Coin flip time…….home team it is.
Packers @ Giants – Another tough road game for Green Bay. Neither of these teams have been playing particularly well but the Packers have managed to keep on winning. Last week, I was pretty confident that the Pack could come out of Detroit with a win. To be accurate, though, my confidence was placed just as much in the Lions’ ability to screw up; a factor which was born out in the game. This week, I’m not so sure. New York has lately gotten the better of their matchups with Green Bay and they have the wherewithal to exploit the Packers’ patchwork offensive line. Exacerbating the problem is slumping kicker Mason Crosby, who will be a key component for better or worse in what could be a close game. Crosby’s probably the only Packer who’s glad they’re playing on the road this week.
Panthers @ Eagles – Just what ESPN, the NFL, and the football watching public want to see: two bad teams playing out the string on Monday Night Football. If extra-terrestrials landed on Earth and saw this matchup, they’d turn around and go home. Backup quarterback Nick Foles is the Philadelphia rejoinder to that age-old conundrum ‘be careful of what you wish for, for you may very well get it’ and head coach Andy Reid has taken on the appearance of “dead man walking”. Normally, in a clash of such dregs, I would automatically go with the home team. But Foles inexperience combined with the ineptitude of the Eagles’ defense should allow Carolina QB Cam Newton to elevate his team for one game. At least, my fantasy team hopes so (speaking of dead men walking).
Harland O. Dog’s Picks: Colts, Giants & Panthers
Bills @ Colts (make-up game) – Last weekend the Colts got their butts handed to them by the Patriots & Buffalo eked out a win against Miami. The Colts & Andrew Luck have been a nice feel good story this year with the rookie QB & head coach going through cancer treatment, so I’m going with the Colts here as I like a feel good story as well as anyone else. That and I think they’re the better team, but mostly the feel good story angle.
Packers @ Giants – This game, for me at least, isn’t about any measure of revenge from the playoff loss for one simple fact: It’s not a playoff game. If it was, I could entirely get behind that motivation but it’s just a regular old game. That being said, I think it’s a regular old game the Packers need to win to keep the momentum going. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s what will happen especially with the Giants coming off their bye week. So I’m going to concede this one to the Giants so if it falls this way, true revenge can happen for the Packers in the playoffs, ending the Giants season as they did to Green Bay last year.
Panthers @ Eagles – Another one of those games ESPN most likely first thought great about: Cam Newton v Mike Vick. Now it’s a not playing well Cam Newton & Panthers team v Nick Folk & a crappy Eagles team. So…um…I really have no idea on this one. The Eagles are in such disarray I’m going to go with the road team here & say the Panthers win, helping usher in the eventual unemployment of Andy Reid.
Wally’s Picks: Colts, Giants & Panthers
Bills @ Colts – Once upon a time I thought the Bills weren’t going to suck and be a dark horse in the AFC race. Yes, you can stop laughing now. Just as in the March Madness NCAA basketball tournament I absolutely stink at picking the dark horse surprises. And honestly? I couldn’t tell you who the Bills’ quarterback is. They are that terrible. The Colts, on the other hand, have Andrew Luck, and he is having a stellar season. Doubt this will be a super-high scoring game. But at the end of the day, the Bills slip further into the realm of, “Buffalo has an NFL team?”
Packers @ Giants – Dear Packers, do not let this be the trap game of the year. I want revenge. I want revenge. I want revenge. I want Tramon Williams to salsa all over Victor Cruz’s face. I want Eli to eat turf early and often. I want Thaddeus Collin enjoy a Packers’ win in his neck of the woods. Have I mentioned I want revenge? Yeah, well so does Rodgers. Let’s see who holds a grudge longer.
Panthers @ Eagles – Suggestion Box vs. The Walrus. I am simply amazed that Andy Reid is not collecting unemployment right now. His team is stinky stank bad with or without Mike Vick. But Cam Newton, notwithstanding, isn’t any better either. It’s going to be a race to see who implodes first. Cam’s playing for his reputation. Reid is playing for his life.
Kelly’s Picks: Colts, Packers & Eagles
Bills @ Colts – It seems like a long, long time since the Bills have been any good. In fact, it has been a long time and they are what is best described as ‘mediocre’ now. That said, they are tied for second place in the AFC East. The Colts are the better team, not only because they beat the Packers, but because Andrew Luck seems that it was worth sucking for him after all. I expect the Colts to dispatch the Bills in orderly fashion. I just hope Nick Barnett has a good day because he’s on one of my fantasy teams.
Packers @ Giants – I hate the Giants more than possibly any other NFL team with the possible, and I mean only possible exception of the Bears. I hated watching that playoff loss and I will never, ever look at Eli Manning without yelling ‘Peyton’s Brother’ as I did in Section 132 of Lambeau Field that day. The Packers are finally looking stronger and the Giants have been struggling this year. I want a throttling. I want a massacre. I want a WIN.
Panthers @ Eagles – God bless Andy Reid. I can’t think of a worse year than the one this man’s having and that’s saying a lot. Mike Vick sucked, but I don’t know that this new kid Foles will suck less. He’s just a new and different kind of suck. After looking great last year, Cam Newton has come back to earth. And how. The Panthers just aren’t very good. As is my wont on games like these, i.e. I have no freaking idea who’s worse, I’m staking my pick on a hard and cold fact. That is that I love Jordan Gross of the Panthers. So I’ll pick them.
Colleen’s Picks: Colts, Packers & Panthers
Editor’s note: While Rich is indeed the favored stepson, the next time he blows this off he’ll be the redheaded stepchild, if you get my drift.
Colts, Panthers, Packers. Now, get off my lawn. Will not happen again (he says…again).
Rich’s picks: Colts, Packers & Panthers