Thanksgiving is in a week.

 

I’ll let that sink in. We’re coming off a bye, we are 6-3 and one game behind the Bears. One game ahead of the Viqueens. If you had told me the NFC North would be the powerhouse this year, I probably would have asked if you and Jay Cutler were smoking the same thing.

At this time of year, most reflect on what they are grateful for. Why this year has been good or bad.

The one constant we all have in our lives: Hey, Ma, at least we aren’t a Bears fan. I mean, could you imagine?

For lack of covering something everyone and said Ma has, I present to you 9 reasons you should be grateful this year you aren’t a Bears fan.

  1. Thanks to a first half schedule that’s been the equivalent of HS football schedule, the Bears actually think they’re a good team.
  2. The Bears are like that cologne you put on to try to get with the girl. A little spray, a little dash of confidence and poof! The other guy scores.
  3. Want to hear a joke? Jay Cutler.
  4. You constantly have to refer to 1985. That was the year I was born as reference. 27 years of non-relevance must be tough.
  5. Speaking of ’85, ESPN still employs Ditka and he sounds like a cross between Chewbacca and my Cuban grandmother.
  6. 6 touchdowns > 6 points.
  7. Every time I hear “Da Bears” I think of Chris Farley who was a Packers fan.
  8. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of a regift of a Sexy Rexy jersey.
  9. Soldier Field looks like the aftermath of a hurricane who made a lovechild with a Nor’easter.

What would you add?

 

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