You know what? I feel short-changed for a very brief Bears week. Not enough days to tell my assistant at work her team sucks dead toads through a straw. Not enough time to mock the gimpy Urlacher Fathead that got sacked by a QB and has as many Super Bowl rings as my first grader who is going head-to-head with the even cooler Rodgers Fathead. No taunting my archnemesis from college about how his team is nothing more than the Marshmallows of the Midway. But who am I fooling, it still feels mighty fine to be exiting Lambeau late last night to the chants The Bears Still Suck . Because last night, they really did and all is right with the universe once again. So with out further adieu, let’s put those Marshmallows on the weekly slab…

  • For those of you who do not know, I am incredibly superstitous. My lucky socks that I had since the playoff run of the 2010 season will never be worn to any Packer game since they forgot to impart any and all good luck last January when the Pack faced the Giants. Needless to say, I have not seen a field goal attempt since 1996. Had a feeling something other than the usual Mason Crosby dependabilty (Yes, JerseyAl, I did mean that) was happening when the cheers kept getting louder and then exploded a lot longer than it takes Crosby to bang one through the uprights. That said, I was hiding in my shirt when Crabtree was making with the razzle dazzle magic.
  • And the trick play could not have happened to a better guy. Tom Crabtree has been a secret we have all known about. But after last night, the entirle nation knows who the guy with the tattoo is and why we adore him. We can say we knew him way back when he filmed himself watching the ESPYs while eating a bowl of cereal.
  • Speaking of the trick play, I honestly don’t care what Rodger’s QB rating was. Cutler’s was the same as the perfect temperature for a frosty beer. But let’s hear it for Ginger Wolverine’s perfect passer rating of 158!
  • While we’re at it, has there ever been a game before where the only passing TD in the first half came frm a punter?
  • For the record, that trick play has officially negated the giant bowl of suck that was that other 4th and 26.
  • Meanwhile Quckie has still got it. Rumors of his demise were greatly exaggerated. And, I like his new Chicken with a Train TD dance. Oh man, did the crowd eat that up! You just know he’s had this one in the works since he took home that mirrror ball.
  • Cedric Benson? Not horrible but not great. Kind of par for the course for the Packers running game. Would think more of him if he would manage to finally get one in the endzone.
  • The idea of Randall Cobb playing a little H-back does not bother me one bit. Keeps defenses on their toes.
  • Speaking of Cobb, Len game him only a 7 for his twisting buttsmack on the opening run-back.
  • No, Jermichael Finley doesn’t have a problem holding on to the ball. Oh wait, he still does. And if that wasn’t enough, we can now add fumblitis to his expansive repertoire.
  • No, seriously, Finley, what is your major malfunction?
  • Speaking of not impressed, Newhouse, if you don’t start protecting your QB, you might as well start carrying a pouch to carry all of Rodgers’ teeth that are getting knocked out when you forget what your job really is. Same goes for you Lang. Rodgers isn’t going to have a chance if you spend most of your time using an industrial strength spatula peeling him off the turf.
  • That said, it always seemed more comforting when Crab or Williams was adding a little beef to the line.
  • This will probably put me on some sort of crap list, but where did Aaron Rodgers go? This is the third game in arow (if you date back to the playoffs last year) where he has not played like himself. The husband and the random dude with the long hair next to me each wondered out loud if there is some  sort of Krytonite or Yoko Ono in his life that is all up in his head and putting the whammy on his football mojo. How would I know? I’m not his mom. But something isn’t right. He’s clunky right now. Perhaps it’s because he’s running for his life most of the time. Sure, Jones should have had that one in the endzone, but the back shoulder pass isn’t working right now. The checkdowns are there, but he acts like he doesn’t always see them. But I have a feeling he post mortems with the best of them, so I am hopeful this problem rectifies it. Or maybe we’re just spoiled with that season average QB rating last year of 122.
  • I lost count, how many times did Cutler get sacked? I thought I heard him shriek all the way from the club level.
  • And since Sparty is one of my alma maters, rock on, Jerel Worthy! Welcome to the big leagues, my man!
  • Somewhere Dom Capers is burning a picture of Rehor and saying, “How you like me now?”
  • And notice who was missing in the starting roster for the defense? Didn’t really see Bush on special teams either. Yes, he was suited up. The one and only time I saw him was as he was jogging back to the tunnel at the end of the game. Guess we don’t need to send the dogs out for him. Was beginning to think he was traded to a junior varsity team in Guam.
  • But notice how the secondary was, well, less sucktastic without him?
  • All kidding aside, was much more pleased with the secondary. Less cushion with their zone coverage.
  • How ’bout that whole rushing the QB thing we seemed to lack lately?  Cover Matthews, then Smith has a line to the QB. Try to take Smith out of the mix, and Worthy was ready, willing and able. This is the defense that wins games. Enough of that bend, don’t break crap. Go for the jugular, and don’t let up until tht final whistle.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

  • Colleen

    I was advised last night not to expect last season’s Rodgers, we may never see him again. This is true. That said, I agree, something is off with him. I hope he gets it worked out, and soon. Good read as always.

    • Richard Chang

      I’ll contribute $5 towards a chippendales gift certificate to get QB1 over his broken heart.

      • Colleen

        You shush.

  • Anita

    Seriously. Do you think that Courtney refuses to let J-Mike hold the new baby?

  • Jen

    Great Stuff!

    I know it sounds like I am making excuses for Rodgers, but the past few years he has not ‘lit it up’ against the Bears. The 49ers game saw a good D. If its week 5 and he still has not improved, than we know he is not the same from last year.