Cutler kicking Woodson


Charles Woodson: “Same old Jay. We don’t need luck, we just need to be in position. Jay will throw us the ball.”

Wow. Upon further review ( see what I did there? ), Mr. Woodson may seem a bit pompous, making such a comment. But, after basically being called out by Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall in the media this week, the future Hall of Famer was a bit pissed. Here’s a hint, Jay. Next time, don’t question the man who’s going to be stalking you for three and a half hours. It’s just not smart. Neither is KICKING HIM in frustration while he’s lying on the ground at your feet. Woodson’s bust will be sitting in Canton while you’re shopping your wares to other teams after the Bears finally get sick of your moody, petulant, million dollar arm, ten cent head, yell at your linemen and receivers when things go bad, Jeff George act.

Oh, and Mr. Marshall, I’d like you to meet the man that YOU called out this week. His name is Tramon Williams. Behind the dreadlocks, insane smile, and slight Cajun accent, is one of the BEST corners in the National Football League. Oh, sure. You’re taller than him, but do you think you’re the first taller, stronger, WR he’s ever met? The guy has to blanket Megatron twice a year. He’s known as a “shut-down corner,” and part of the reason that the Packers pass defense was so porous last season, was that he was injured.

So basically, you questioned the manhood of Charles Woodson and Tramon Williams. Let’s sit for a minute and let that sink in. CHARLES WOODSON and TRAMON WILLIAMS.

Yeah, that sound you hear is everyone outside Chicago laughing at you. I have a feeling no one in the Second City is laughing today.

But, hey, don’t be discouraged, Jay. People used to say the same thing about Brett Favre and his interception habits. But, even on his worst days, where he served up INT’s like Snickers to Betty White, I don’t recall Brett ending games with a 28.2 passer rating.

Karma is a beautiful thing.

The morning after the Green Bay Packers disposed of the Chicago Bears, 23-10, in front of a national audience on Thursday Night Football, I am feeling a bit smug, even if it only lasts 10 days, which is how long the Packers have until their next game.  Perhaps I wouldn’t be in this mood if it weren’t for the fact that I live around so many Bears fans, who this week acted like they’d won the Super Bowl in Week One, and the rest of us shouldn’t even bother showing up. Oh, and I’m not just calling out those idiots. I’m also calling out the Packer fans who FELL for it, too. You know who you are. The Packer fans on my Twitter timeline and the ones on ESPN Milwaukee yesterday who thought that the Packers were going to lose this game. What a contrast, as I drove to work, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as I listened to ESPN 1000 out of Chicago talk about the upcoming game.  They were happy, jovial, and couldn’t wait to lay a beat down on the overrated Packers. No respect.  No self-awareness that the Bears had just beaten the WORST team in the NFL with a rookie starting quarterback the week before, and that the Packers had lost to a Super Bowl contender. It was a done deal. It didn’t matter that Jay Cutler was 1-6 versus the Packers (now 1-7). He had a couple of new toys and those new toys were all that the Bears needed to put the rest of the division behind them.  I was so infuriated that I slammed my iced, venti, non-fat Pumpkin Spice latte with an extra shot of espresso in record time. It made me hyper and irrational, and willing to kick anyone who said “Bear Down” to me, straight in the nads. I had to go to an exercise class at lunch to bring me back down ( and turn my aggression to the evil instructor, rather than random Bear fans ). You see what bragging and bravado does? It infuriates your opponent. As much as it frustrates me to listen to Aaron Rodgers’ polite, canned, sports cliched, complimentary comments regarding his opponents every week, there’s a good reason for it. He doesn’t want to be bulletin board material.

Now, I’m not entirely pleased with certain aspects of the Packer game last night. It wasn’t perfect offensively. But, it always seems that Aaron Rodgers has mere mortal performances against Chicago, so it wasn’t really surprising.  Rodgers took five sacks and threw a pick in the fourth quarter, as the Packers’ offense struggled to find points. His receivers still can’t hold onto the ball, and they did miss Greg Jennings. No Jennings means that defenses can focus on Jordy Nelson more. The Packers need both of them on the field. I also yelled at the TV, pleading them to throw it to Driver, again, since he was the only player who evidently didn’t coat his hands with that greasy Country Crock and Heinz ketchup concoction I saw on Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo last night.

Favorite parts of the evening included the perfect passer rating of the Ginger Wolverine ( a.k.a. punter, Tim Masthay ), Mason Crosby outscoring Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb in Fantasy Points ( actually, that made me happy AND pissed me off all at once ), and the pass rush, Clay Matthews, in particular (  3.5 sacks, and was unblockable ). Welcome back, Thor. We missed you.  Seven sacks and four interceptions?  Beautimous. Yeah, I think the defense had something to prove and were helped out by some bulletin board motivation, thanks to Cutler and Marshall. Enjoy the lovely cheese and sausage tray that you’ll be receiving from the Brat Stop in Kenosha, Jay and Brandon. Thanks for the help.

Not to toot my own horn ( yeah, right ), but I Tweeted something in the first half when the Packers finally went ahead:

@ Chezhdchick  Some things are guaranteed when the Bears fall behind: Lovie will start wasting challenges, Cutler will lose his shit & start tossing INT’s

I’d like to point out that I made this bold prediction before Cutler began making mistakes and screaming at his teammates.  Some things are so predictable that even a chick can see them coming, right guys?



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  • Kelly

    Seriously, the Ginger Wolverine had a higher QB rating that Cutler last night. No realy.

    • Anita

      I think I want a Ginge jersey. No, really.

      I want Wilde to ask Rodgers if Ginge gets his locker, now.

  • Barb Gutermuth

    awesome as always!!!!

    • Anita

      Thanks, sweets!

  • Anita

    I would like to make a correction to my article. I mistakenly called the Indianapolis Colts, whom the Bears beat in Week One, thus enabling them to proceed directly to the Super Bowl, no questions asked (according to their fans and media), “the worst team in the National Football League.” They’re not. They won a game today. They beat the Vikings, who we all know is the actual “worst team in the NFL.”