Fantasy Football…some times you win, some times you lose, and sometimes you are in a league that is as corrupt as a small, South American nation complete with a megalomaniac dictator. No, I’m not pointing fingers or anything. Let’s just say our league has a junta party ready and waiting shall El Presidente suffer an unforseen accident.

My brother accuses me of phoning in my choices in his league. I’ve had my butt kicked up and down that league for the past five years. Then in other leagues, I’m pretty good at cleaning house. I invariably get stuck with a truly fabulous running back on paper each year only to have him blow his knee out or something equally catastrophic that guarantees I am searching the bottom of the barrel for some RB that yields a whopping three yards per game. But oh, the experts say you have to pick a running back first. That’s where all the points are. That is, until you realize that the NFL truly is a passing league. But what do I know, my beloved Three Orange Whips held up the basement in my baby brother’s league.

So just as as in the past where I’ve come up with an algorithm for March Madness, I give your the scientifically unproven yet color coded right down to your preference for dogs algorithm for Fantasy Football. I take no responsibility for any of you suckers that may acutally use it for making a pick. And for the record, yes, I was wearing my Packers homerpants when I created it.

Caveat Emptor, everyone!


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  • Anita

    I am the one person in my league who goes all QB and WR in the first rounds and leaves my RB picks to the leftovers. What this got me was Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Jordy Nelson and Rob Grontkowski last year, with Victor Cruz and AJ Greene as back ups and Antonio Brown as my flex. And some loser stiffs at RB (hello, Reggie Bush).

    What it also got me was the league Championship. Booya!

    I never draft RB in the first round. Injuries, age, rookie luck. RB is the least predictable position to pick in a Fantasy Draft. Last year’s ass kicker can be this year’s bench warmer.

    Oh, and I’d pick a pile of dog crap before Cutler. I have standards. No Bears. No Vikings. I will subject my team to a few Lions. Stafford was my back-up last year and I used him during BYE week, and HAD to use him against the Packers (WTF?) thanks to the Great Matt Flynn Experiment. It worked out well for me. And if Megatron is available, and Aaron Rodgers is not, I will pick his smarmy Lion ass in the first round, even if it kills me. But Cutler and/or Peterson? Nope. Winning isn’t THAT important.