CHICKS DIG SCARS: DWTS Week Six. Motown Week. The time is right for Dancing in the Streets!
Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves and the Temptations are singing the hits of Motown while the couples dance along. See, now THIS is what I wanted last week with Santana! Oh sure, there’s only one Temptation left (Otis Williams) and the rest of them weren’t even in the group the last time they had a hit, but that’s okay. One of them kinda looked like Warren Sapp. I heard he may be looking for extra income, so maybe…
There was also an Australian group singing Motown hits in and out of the commercial time outs. They weren’t bad, but I couldn’t help but Tweet the following:
@chezhdchick: Who are the honkey dudes singing Motown at the bump? #DWTS
1. Gladys & Tristan (Rumba) 21/30: She’s just so cute and sweet that you just want to sop her up with a biscuit. Seriously, I just loved the Tracy Turnblad bouffant with her little purple hair bow, and Tristan with his David Ruffin spectacles. Yeah, her Rumba was hardly steamy, but come on. She’s 67. Do you really want to see them bump, grind, dry hump and pole dance like Cheryl and William did later on (more on them later)? Her Rumba was slow and pretty, but lacked content for higher scores. That’s okay. She seemed to be having a great time, and was all smiles. Her personal goal was to make it to Motown Week, and she accomplished that. It was Old Home Week for her with all the Motowners performing. They even had a Pip come help them with training, Gladys’ brother, Bubba. Shouldn’t every girl have a brother named Bubba?
2. Maria & Derek (Foxtrot) 26/30: Let’s just get this out of the way right off the bat. I’m not a fan of the Foxtrot. It bores me. So do waltzes. Maria and Derek started out smooth and elegant. Maria’s dress was flat out gorgeous. I thought, “Business as usual with Hough.” But then Maria slipped on the stairs, went off time, and never really recovered. All of which the judges pointed out before overscoring them with an 8 and two 9′s. The 8? Appropriate. The two 9′s? Not so much. Golden Boy, indeed…
3. Roshon & Chelsie (Rumba) 23/30: Okay, the Rumba is a sexy, passionate dance. Roshon may be 20, but he looks 12. I felt a little icky watching this. I actually thought it was a good dance once you got past the ick factor. The judges, however, skewered him. I was actually a little surprised. Yes, it was a little jerky and the movements over exaggerated, but that’s how Roshon dances. Now, all of the sudden, they’re calling him out on it?
4. Katherine & Mark (Samba) 29/30: A very cute Samba, and yes, it was the best performance of the night, but once again, I don’t get the 10′s. They aren’t Apolo and Julianne. THAT was a Samba worthy of 10′s. I can’t even think of anything else to say. They’re good. They deserve to be the highest score of the night, but they don’t leave a lasting impression on me, obviously. It’s kind of the same each week. Good, but a bit robotic. Just wind them up and let them go. Same frozen smiles and well executed steps.
5. Donald & Peta (Foxtrot) 27/30: Oh, what pretty shade of … wait … that’s not Honolulu Blue, is it? Shudder….
I was actually a bit bummed that they were assigned the Foxtrot during Motown Week when I’d rather see him shake his booty. That hot boogie they did at the judge’s table proved that they would have been so much better served with something peppy and dynamic. It was a good dance, but there was a little bobble where you held your breath and prayed that he wasn’t going to drop Peta. I think that cost them any 10′s this time. For the first time all season, I felt they were appropriately scored by all three judges at the same time! It’s a miracle! Unfortunately, there is so much OVERscoring going on with certain other couples, that you feel Donald and Peta are getting the shaft all the time.
6. Melissa & Maks (Viennese Waltz) 24/30: Now this is something in Melissa’s wheelhouse. Slow and elegant. A dance where she’s not struggling to keep up with Maks, and it doesn’t look like Maks is dragging her around the dance floor. Clearly, her best dance so far. The prepackaged video is yet another chapter in the “Maks is a douche to his partners” story. Of course, Melissa refutes that, saying that they only take a small snip of their entire week, out of context. I like Maks, but he can be an ass, and the show is more than happy to cast him in a bad light, given the opportunity. He is their Bad Boy of the Ballroom and sometimes, he pisses them off with his comments, so the producer monkeys are more than happy to screw with him, and that’s fine. Just remember what girls like in the end. If you remember the movie Grease, Good Girl Sandy dumped the fair haired do-goody jock (who actually kinda looks like Derek Hough) and went after the dark, brooding, alpha male in the black leather (Maks, of course).
7. Jaleel & Kym (Cha Cha) 29/30: I hate that his dance was good. HATE. I want him gone so badly, I can hardly stand it. I do think that he was a bit overpraised, as if the show is doing damage control with his image. “He’s not scoring well with the viewing audience, so let’s give him a couple 10′s, make sure he scores high in the dance marathon and save his ass in the dance off if our overscoring doesn’t work and he lands in the bottom two again.” Nines would have been fine, because it was deserving of high scores, but two 10′s? No.
8. William & Cheryl (Rumba) 27/30: Ok, so that whole smoke stunt in the practice video was incredibly stupid and just another excuse for them to pander at his looks. During the dance, William stood in one spot, while Cheryl used him as a human stripper pole (Welcome back to Week One). And when are they going to dance first (the dance spot of doom) instead of always getting the pimp spot at the end (or pretty close to it)? Oh, wait. I must be watching a show that actually pretends to be fairly judged.
I am starting to intensely dislike the man, which is wrong, because he seems like a decent enough fellow. But the overscoring and pimping, never having to dance at the beginning of the show, the People magazine cover, it’s all too much. It’s just such a unfair advantage. I actually called him a “butterface” on Twitter last night, because I was so pissed when Bruno held up that “10″ paddle.
Motown Dance Marathon:
As you can see, the judge’s eliminate a couple as they go, kind of like the National Bandstand Dance Off in the aforementioned movie, Grease. Gladys was eliminated first, which was hardly a surprise. But eliminating Maria and Derek second was a shocker. But, if you watch the video, Maria is exhausted. She’s barely moving. She probably should have gone before Gladys. Derek wins these marathons every season, and he looked duly pissed. It was beautiful.
Donald finished 4th, grabbing 7 additional points. This morning, on WLS-TV, their reporter, who gives a DWTS report from LA every Tuesday morning, asked William about his performance and he himself stated that he didn’t understand how he finished second in the marathon, that he ran out of moves and started to Samba, ran out of moves AGAIN, so he just ripped off his shirt and started to slide around the floor. If the dancer himself knows he’s getting scores that he doesn’t deserve, what does that say?
Katherine and Mark won the Dance Marathon, grabbing the maximum of ten points. Deservedly so.
If Donald and Peta end up in the Bottom Two tonight, I have a conspiracy theory:
When I went to call in my votes for Donald and Peta, I got the “you have reached the limit on this phone line” recording on my SECOND attempt. I kept trying, however, knowing full well that I hadn’t reached my max number of allowed calls, and got the same recording. After the third time time of trying and hearing the “you have reached your limit” message, votes started to go through again. I tried on a second phone. Same thing. Tried on a third phone. It happened again. I don’t live in Wisconsin, so you can’t blame “jammed phone lines in Packer Country” on this snafu. In fact, I live around mostly Bear and Lion fans. Huh. Go figure.
Convenient, right? I’ll bet William, Katherine and Jerkel’s phone lines were working JUST FINE.
My Predicted Bottom Two: Roshon and Gladys
Going Home: Gladys (sad face)
You can vote for Donald and Peta every Monday during the show and for ONE HOUR after the show ends, by texting “VOTE” to 3403 (AT&T customers), calling 1-800-868-3403 to vote by phone, or go to ABC.com and vote online from the start of Monday’s show until 11AM ET on Tuesday . I will add an update after tonight’s results show!
Please vote. If the results of that Dance Marathon are any indication (which, as someone who has watched this show from the beginning, they are), the judges have spoken and that’s how they want this season to end, with William, Katherine and Jaleel in the Finals, and Donald eliminated the week before in the semi’s. I find that unacceptable. Katherine and William are a forgone conclusion, but Packer Nation can get Donald to the Finals ahead of Jerkel! Let’s do it!
UPDATE: Donald and Peta are SAFE!
For results…see above! I predicted correctly!
The Dance Off was hardly fair. A 20 year old vs. a 67 year old? Come on. But Gladys left with grace and class…and the band sent her off by playing Midnight Train to Georgia. “She’s leaving…on that Midnight Train to Georgia.” It kinda made me laugh.