Pocket Doppler Prognosticators: Week 17
Last year, each Friday the 3 Founding Fathers of Pocket Doppler (yours truly, BigSnakeMan & Chris Richards) would square off in picking the winner of the Packers, Sunday night & MNF games in an attempt to prove their football acumen and entertain. We’re not sure either of those things happened. So this year, the Founding Fathers will be joined by two Pocket Doppler veterans: favored stepson Rich & Senior Angel Colleen. Like last year, we’ll keep a running tally throughout the season.
Welcome to this week’s edition of the Pocket Doppler Prognosticators. Entering into Week 17 the current standings are:
Everyone but Rich & I aced their picks but beyond point totals really didn’t change the positional standings. Last week of the regular season so Colleen is still within stiking distance of me for the top spot & mathematically Rich & BSM could force a multiple person tie, however unlikely that is. Let’s see what everyone has for the last week of the regular season.
(Playing the part of Rich Ward, Jr. this week will be BigSnakeMan, whose brevity of analysis is due to an acute case of writer’s block brought on by an unispiring slate of NFL teams playing out the string.)
Bears at Vikings – Speaking of uninspiring teams playing out the string, these are two that have been decimated by injury and they weren’t all that good to begin with. Don’t really know who’s going to win this game and don’t really care. Frankly, I’m not sure either of them do, either. But, as I’m obliged to pick one in this exercise, we’ll take the home team.
Lions at Packers – Lions have a chip on their shoulder and Packers really gain nothing with a win other than pride and perhaps momentum. Better to take the opportunity to rest & recuperate for the playoffs. For the first time all season I’m picking against the Packers…..not that I feel good about it.
Cowboys at Giants – One of the few games this weekend with actual consequences, too bad the Cowboys are in no position to do anything about it. QB Tony Romo is banged up along with many of his teammates. Earlier in the season I would’ve expected Dallas to pull this one out but New York has demonstrated a strength of resolve lately that the Cowboys clearly lack. At least when their backs are against the wall as they are in this instance. Once again, the home team appears the safer bet.
Vikings, Lions & Giants
Bears at Vikings – The much anticipated Who Gives A Flying Flip Bowl pits two despicable excuses for NFL franchises. This is a match up that my younger son, CyMek, refs to as a Blimp Game, the ideal outcome of which is a flaming dirigible crash on the field during play. OK, so that might be a bit harsh. But he is right when he notes that the Vikings helmet logo looks like something that should be used to flush a toilet. It is with extreme disgust and contempt that I lower myself to even consider the outcome of this game. I will pick CHI because, Dave, my Packers Therapy co-host says all indicators suggest 2012 will feature a Bear Market.
Lions at Packers – I’m picking GB. Why? Because it really doesn’t matter. To hell with it. I am in last place. I’m always in last place. I’m a freakin’ loser. I totally suck at this crap. So I’m picking the Packers because I LIKE THEM. They are my favorite team. No other team matters to me in the least. The entire NFL exists purely as a stage on which the Packers can play. Other teams are there just to provide backdrop, color, texture and context. They are merely supporting players, allowed to beat the Packers from time to time so that eventual GB victory will taste that much sweeter. So there. Take that to Vegas you gambling degenerates!
Cowboys at Giants – Sorry for the above outbursts. I think I have recaptured my serenity. And just in time, as this looks to be an interesting game, the winner wearing the tarnished crown of NFC Least “champion.” Well, at least the winner gets to nine wins, which is better than SEA “winning” the NFC West with a losing record last year. Sallad hits the road having just lost a starting guard, with a nicked up backfield, and a QB with a sore throwing hand. Not good. G-Men are at home and remain one of the NFL’s most perplexing teams, having beaten DAL earlier this month on the road (before stumbling at WASH and recovering to sucker-punch the Jets last week). Eli Manning has his flaws, but he is a good QB, and that should be enough to beat the ‘Boyz and their injured passer. While the Giants come in with a sorry 3-4 mark at MetLife Stadium this season, I like NY at home, even if that is in New Jersey.
Chris’s Picks: Bears, Packers & Giants
Bears at Vikings – I was pretty impressed with the Bears for at least a half while watching them play the Packers last Sunday. Add into that Adrian Peterson’s injury which will keep him out of this game how can you not pick the Bears? So I’m going with the Bears, not only because of the above reasons, I just can’t willingly pick the Vikings.
Lions at Packers – Little torn on what to do with this one. The Lions have something to play for here and the only thing the Packers have to play for is keeping the team healthy. Mike McCarthy has said repeatedly that he’s going to play to win, so who am I to disagree with him? Packers, but by the smallest of margins.
Cowboys at Giants – Giants looked pretty darn good against the Jets. Romo should be back under center for the Cowboys as well & while he didn’t play much last week before his boo-boo, he looked darn impressive the week before. So in this game, where the winner takes the NFC East I’m going with my gut and my gut says the Giants win.
Wally’s Picks: Bears, Packers & Giants
Bears at Vikings – This is what might be called a non-event that will live in infamy. Another of those so-called “meteor” games where a flaming chunk of molten space debris could hit the stadium and the outcome would be about the same – a disaster. This is the bottom of the NFC North fighting it out to see who can look more pathetic. I think we all know who is more pathetic out of these two. The Vikings can’t suck for Luck, but they can do a seriously impressive imitation, especially without Adrian Peterson, who went down with a truly unfortunate injury. (By the way, Daily Norseman, Packer fans do not cheer when someone gets injured, especially someone as talented and truly nice as Peterson. Jerk.) Bears win.
Lions at Packers – The Packers tamed the Lions on Thanksgiving pretty handily. Evan Dietrich-Smith is still (I believe) in the starting lineup and practicing his super secret shoe-untying trick for this week (I kid, I kid, but wouldn’t that be funny if that’s really what upset Suh?), and Pickett is back. On the other hand, the Packers aren’t playing for a whole lot other than a NFC North sweep (admirable) and to put the Lions down a seed (even more admirable). While wanting to be smart about it, you can tell McCarthy really wants to win this game. That’s what will happen. I don’t see the Lion eating the Christian, I mean the Packer, this time. Packers win, even if Matty “the red nosed reindeer” (see his latest photobomb) Flynn starts.
Cowboys at Giants – This game actually matters. The winner plays next week, and the loser sits at home, wondering what happened to the bright predictions that were made about their team at the beginning of the season. Eli is actually playing like an elite quarterback (even though my personal opinion is he still has something to prove, SB win or no) and Romo is playing hurt, if in fact he plays at all. I think he will play; there’s too much on the line here. If this game was being played in Jerryworld I might be more inclined to lean towards the Cowboys, but I’m a little skeptical that Romo can avoid his annual much anticipated and documented December meltdown, especially playing hurt in the New Jersey cold. Mike Freeman says that he’s picking the Giants, which means (he says) the Cowboys will come out on top. I say he’s right the first time. Giants win.
Colleen’s Picks: Bears, Packers & Giants
Bears at Vikings – I can say, with a straight face and all honesty, I have not the slightest clue who is quarterbacking and/or lining up in the backfield for either of these two teams on Sunday. If someone out there can actually sit, for three and a half hours, and watch this entire game, they are better men/women than I am. That, or you need to reconsider what you’re doing with your life; wasting any time watching this match up will not only be a detriment to your health, well-being, and perception of the quality of the NFL, but it’s 200+ minutes of time you could spend being productive–like watching paint dry.
Goodness, we’re picking games and suddenly I’ve morphed into Dr. Phil’s step-child.
Without Adrian Petersen, the Vikings have no shot. And Jared Allen, yes you, I hope you break the sack record for the sole purpose of half of Minnesota having at least something “good” to talk about, thus lowering the risk of potential suicide in the coming months. Suicide is not a joke, nor do I am I making light of such practices. BUT SERIOUSLY–do Minnesota fans have anything going for them right now?!
Lions at Packers – For the 1st time in my history with Pocket Doppler, I am picking against the Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers will sit soon after the 1st drive, while the Lions are going to play as if this game will provide some kind of statement to the NFL as the playoffs roll around.
[Note: I started up with the Prognosticators during last season's playoffs, so I too was undefeated for nearly a full year...until the Chiefs loss. Homer or genius?]
Cowboys at Giants – I am picking Dallas ONLY because I would rather face them in the playoffs than New York. I feel as if I pick against them, it will ensure defeat. Why are we as fans so superstitiously driven?
Rich’s Picks: Bears, Lions & Cowboys