It’s true. On a daily basis, I get some rendition of, “You were born and raised in Texas? Why are you a Packers fan? WHY AREN’T YOU A COWBOYS FAN?!”

Simmer down, Chicken Little. The world is not going to end. Granted, I became a Packers fan at the age of 4 amidst a hardcore Cowboys household – and I’m convinced it was because I liked cheese and the color green. Little has changed. One of the first things I ever said to my dad related to football was when he asked me “Whose house?” and I would yell back, “COWBOYS HOUSE!”

Some of my best friends are hardcore Cowboys fans and know the game. This does not apply to you. Hell, I wear a piece of cheese on my head with pride. Who am I to judge?

But I will anyway.

So Dave Letterman style, here is a Top 10 of why I’m NOT a Cowboys fan.

  • Have you SEEN Jerry Jones? He’s living proof of where Boogeyman nightmares come from.
  • Icing your own kicker should only happen in a bar after you’ve won the Super Bowl. Which, they haven’t. Since 1995.
  • Emotional stability of a sorority girl on Prozac. I’ve never seen more fans jump on and off the bandwagon. That type of whiplash is reserved for choosing what type of shoes go with my outfit.
  • Stop picking on Romo. He’s not the issue. You are, you fan who knows little about football. He had 321 yards, 4 touchdowns, and lead his team to a 12 point lead late in the 4th quarter on Sunday. Is he perfect? No. But quit it.
  • See picture. Really? Yes, I know this guy exists .
  • America’s Team? Yeah, and I want to be Princess of the Universe. If I say it enough times, maybe they’ll believe me.
  • High school football is better in this state than the Cowboys.
  • Jimmy Johnson’s hair is still relevant when your team is discussed. And Troy Aikman’s car dealerships.
  • HELLO HAVE YOU SEEN JERRY JONES? Nightmares, y’all.
 

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