Let’s not kid ourselves. I dislike the Chicago Bears and their fanbase as much as the next Cheesehead. The cocky nature amazes me from a team that has not brought home the Lombardi since before cell phones were invented.

If you’re keeping track, the Pack have won two since that time.

For the love of Halas, Bears, get a grip. Since you continue to thrive on telling me how much my team sucks, I figure I would show Chokeago a little love on this Tuesday.

Did you hear about the new cologne line from the Chicago Bears? You put it on and the other guy scores.

What did the Chicago Bears fan do after his team won the Super Bowl? He turned off his Playstation 3.

Q: Why do the trees in Wisconsin lean south?
A: Because Chicago still sucks.

Q. How can you tell when the Chicago Bears are going to run the football?
A. Forte leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

Q. You know why Jay Cutler is so awkward around a phone?
A. He has a hard time finding the receiver.

A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Viking fan insists he is the most loyal. “This is for the Vikings” he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Packer fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells “This is for the Packers!” and pushes the Bear fan off the mountain.

What are your best Bears jokes? 

 

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  • http://cheeseheadtv.com/eat_more_cheese John Rehor

    The Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.

  • http://www.laurenafernandez.com Lauren

    John, you’re the man. I LOL’ed…. out loud. :)

    • http://cheeseheadtv.com/eat_more_cheese John Rehor

      Always here to join in the suck fest known as the Bears :)

  • Anita

    Ohhh…ohhh…can I play?

    Oldies, but Goodies:

    A Packers fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a joke about the Bears?”
    The guy next to him replies, “Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I’m 6′ tall and 220 pounds and I’m a Bears fan. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 240 pounds and he’s a Bears fan, and the guy sitting next to him is 6’5″, 280 pounds and he’s a Bears fan, too. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?”
    The Packers fan says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”

    A Bears fan, a Packers fan and a Steelers fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Steelers fan insists that he is the most loyal. “This is for the Steelers!” he yells,and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Packers fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, “this is for the Packers!” & pushes the Bears fan off the mountain.

    A teacher tells her class that she loves the BEARS. The class agrees with her except one little girl. When asked who she likes, the girl said the Packers. The teacher asked why and the girl said “because my mommy and daddy are fans”. The teacher replies “that’s no reason to like them, what if your dad was an idiot and your mom was a moron… then what would you be?” The little girl replied back, “a Bears fan

    Q. What do the Chicago Bears & Billy Graham have in common?
    A. They both can make a stadium full of people stand up & yell “Jesus Christ.”

    Q. Why doesn’t Rockford have a professional football team?
    A. Because then Chicago would want one.

    Q. Why was Mike Martz upset when the Bears playbook was stolen?
    A. Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.

    Q. How do you keep a Bear from masturbating?
    A. Paint his pecker green and gold and he won’t be able to beat it for years!

    Lovie Smith visited a Packers practice one day to see what it is McCarthy does that makes their team so great. He asked him what his secret is.

    McCarthy calls over Aaron Rodgers and asked him “Who is you dad’s, brother’s nephew, Aaron?” Rodgers replied “I am coach.” McCarthy says to Lovie, “There you have it, smart quarterback, that’s our secret.”

    Lovie goes back to his team’s practice and finds Jay Cutler and asks him “Jay, who’s your dad’s, brother’s nephew?” Jay stands perplexed for a few seconds, and says “I’ll have to get back to you after practice coach.”

    After practice, Jay goes up to Devin Hester and asks him “Devin, who is your dad’s, brother’s nephew?” Hester replies, “That’s easy, I am.”

    Jay goes back to Lovie and tells him, “Hey coach I figured out who my dad’s, brother’s nephew is. It’s Devin Hester.”

    Lovie just shakes his head in disbelief. He tells him, “Dammitt Jay, no he’s not. Aaron Rodgers is!”