CHICKS DIG SCARS: I’m in Hell
Yeah…..wow. Speak for yourself.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that MY team is there, of course. But I would rather be playing anyone else BUT the Chicago Bears, and it has nothing to do with the team, itself.
I moved here in 1985. A Packer fan surrounded by the Super Bowl Shuffle. Are you starting to feel me, now?
You see, I live 90 miles east of Chicago. The South Bend media market is home to the Bears and Colts. Those are the games we get. I’ve been lucky enough to get all but three Packer games this season on local television. For those three games, I went to a local sports bar. Not bad. Nice, large, flat screen TV’s, but the volume is usually turned down because they’re showing more than one game, and after three hours of beer and wings, the check is well over $50 (you’ve never seen my son put away hot wings). The biggest snicker I had all season was when CBS carried BOTH the Bears and the Colts at 1:00 and the local CBS affiliate chose to carry the Colts game because it had more playoff implications. The Colts hadn’t clinched yet and the Bears had. But, I’ll bet that WSBT got some angry phone calls! But, the best part? The PACKER game was on FOX. Bears fans had to be fit to be tied. GOOD. Now you know what I feel like on Sunday’s when I have to open my wallet and pay for overpriced beer and wings.
So, why am I in a crappy mood. Do I think the Packers will win? They SHOULD. They’re the hotter team. But, that doesn’t mean squat, really. And if they don’t win, it won’t stop these obnoxious bastages (tm Johnny Dangerously) from letting me hear about for the next nine to twelve months. Do you know what happened in January, 1998 when the Packers lost in the Super Bowl to the Denver Broncos? I was in Wisconsin for the game and when I came home the next day, there were messages on my answering machine. From Bears fans (and one Cowboy fan), laughing and mocking me. “HA-HA. You lost!” Now, did I do the same when the Colts beat the Bears a few years ago in the Super Bowl? Nope. Never said a word to anyone, even though a few of them deserved payback. It’s called class. I don’t have confidence that my fellow Bear fan friends will do the same. It didn’t matter that the Bears (and the Cowboys) themselves were also watching the Super Bowl on TV that year, while the Packers were actually playing in it. I had to be ridiculed, evidently, and made to feel worse than I already did.
I’ve been to three out of town stadiums to watch the Packers. Now, I’m not an obnoxious opposing fan. I don’t dress in wacky clothes and I don’t paint my body parts. Just a sweatshirt, jersey, jacket or hat, with the Packers name on it. Just so…you know…people know where I stand. I clap when they score. I’ve never woofed at anyone. I am basically respectful, because I know how furious I get when I have sit next to opposing fans in my stadium. Ask my son, who pleaded with me “Don’t embarrass me, Mom” when I whispered that I was going to break the USC fan’s fingers if he stuck that “V” in my face one more time at the 2007 game.
So, anyway, where was I? My mind is mush this week. Oh, yeah.
So, I’ve been to Soldier Field three times. I’ve also been to Indianapolis and Detroit to see the Packers play. Indy and Detroit were a dream. People were friendly. No one threatened me or called me names. Lions fans even said, “Yeah, go ahead….kick our ass. We’re used to it.” (Something tells me they won’t have that attitude much longer. It’s ON like Ndamukong). Colts fans shared their beer. Always a good ice breaker, especially with Packer fans. Soldier Field? All three times were nightmares. I got called “Packer Bitch” and ”sister” and not in flattering ways. I had hot coffee thrown at me which ruined my jacket. A woman told me that I couldn’t use the bathroom because I might get my Packer cooties on the seats (she told me this in a drunken slur with breath that smelled like alcohol and cigarettes). I think she also tried to spit at me, but she lost her balance and slammed her head into the door frame of the ladies room before the spit had a chance to come out. Classy broad. A male drunk threatened to push me down the stadium stairs if I didn’t take off my Packer jersey. Or maybe he just wanted to see my boobs, I’m not sure.
What I don’t get, is these are the same people that I have fun with at Wrigley in the summer. Is it the game of football that makes them like this? Or are the occupants of Soldier Field primarily White Sox fans, because THAT would explain everything.
Despite all that, I have to admit, the past two seasons, Packer fans have kind of taken the Bear-Packer rivalry for granted. There was a new enemy and he wore #4 and dressed in purple. Our attention was primarily focused on THAT rivalry. It was almost like, “Oh, it’s Bear Week. Pay attention.” But, now that we’re meeting in the NFC Championship (and the Vikings and Brett have met Karma…..and she WON), the world is back on its proper axis. We can hate each other again.
So, anyway. My stomach hurts. I can’t even enjoy this week. Is there such a thing as “Football Related PMS?” I think I have it. Daily stomach ache. Head pounding. Tears welling in my eyes when I think about the game. Urge to kill anyone dressed in navy and orange. No sense of humor, whatsoever. If we were playing the Saints or the Giants, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I wish I lived back in Wisconsin, where I could hide amongst my people and enjoy. Isn’t this a game? It doesn’t feel like one. I need drugs, or alcohol, or an intervention. I need to NOT feel like killing every Bear fan on my Facebook friends list who is cloggin’ up my newsfeed with nasty photos of actual bears doing horrible things to Aaron Rodgers’ butt. Come to think of it, isn’t that a negative statement about BEARS more than the Packers? I guess they just don’t get that.
My birthday is on Super Bowl Sunday. There comes a time when you don’t look forward to celebrating that day anymore. I hit that on the day I turned 30. But, can you imagine what it would be like to have your favorite team, on the biggest stage, on YOUR day? It’s almost too perfect. Which is why I’m afraid. Things usually don’t work in my favor like that.
Someone talk me off the ledge.
Oh, check out this video. Jordan Rodgers, QB for the Vanderbilt Commodores, talks about his brother, Aaron, and about Jay Cutler, who helped him when he started at Vandy. You have to like a little bro who isn’t afraid to give his famous big brother a little shit when the opportunity presents itself.