Chicks Dig Scars: Raised on Radio
It’s actually more difficult to come up with things to rant about when it’s going well, isn’t it? Sheer satisfaction for the past three weeks ON the field, means not much to complain about, really. Well, for most people that is. Some of our radio friends still manage to stir the pot.
Colin Cowherd. I don’t like him. I actually loathe him. His voice is like nails on a chalkboard and I find myself wondering HOW he got a radio job in the first place. Don’t you need a decent speaking voice to succeed in radio (rhetorical question). This guy opens his mouth and all you can picture is the weenie kid who got cut from the Little League squad (back when they did such things. Now it’s all orange slices and participation ribbons). You picture a skinny dweeb without an athletic bone in his body, ranking on the guys who can do what he was never able to. And then you see a photo……oh, what do you know…..HE LOOKS LIKE IT, TOO. I’ll listen to Golic and Greeny in the morning. Golic’s been there. He speaks from experience when he calls people out. Greeny is the less-athletic sidekick, but unlike Cowherd, fully admits to his lack of athletic experience and prowess.
Total Packers seems to say it much more succinctly than I. And yes, I realize that by even commenting about it, I am playing right into Cowherd’s greasy little paws. I don’t care.
Perhaps I’ll write him a fan letter. Can you help me out? I seem to be crossing out more that I’m keeping.
Dear Shitheel Mr
I really loathe with the white hot intensity of 1000 suns
enjoy your self-important, douchetastic , insightful sense of humor! How ignorant perceptive you must be to be able to cluelessly aptly describe Aaron Rodgers’ lack of playoff success even though he’s only played in ONE playoff game before this weekend, but who’s counting? Certainly not you. I get that you dislike the fact that the media has been fawning over him and that you think he doesn’t deserve it as opposed to how you got this gig. I find that stance hypocritical amusing, since you are employed by Favre worshipping, Vick enabling, Roethelisberger excusing ESPN, the network that never met a criminal jockstrap it couldn’t sniff the network who thrives on its marquee players, which Rodgers is rapidly joining the ranks of. Yes, I realize that taunting tweaking a lunatic passionate fanbase, like the Packers, is part of your schtick. You are a douchebag contrarian and you say things to talk out your ass for reaction and attention. But it is your total inability to function as a man admit when you’re wrong that has me pointing and laughing perplexed. You’d rather have Mark Sanchez than Aaron Rodgers? Didn’t the Packer BEAT your beloved crush Sanchez and his Jets earlier this season? And I don’t recall you backing off your statement after the fact, either. Ditto this week when Rodgers got the playoff victory that you so ignorantly stated he was missing on his short three years as a starter resume.
Perhaps you’ll die change your tune if ESPN Milwaukee, who carries your show, was to cancel you? Maybe fill your time slot with a local show about the Packers? Then what would you do? Move onto another fan base who’s intelligence you can insult daily?
But no hard feelings, right? All part of the job that you must have gotten by extortion. I’m sure the population of Wisconsin would to buy you a mug full of warm cow piss beer the next time you visit. Oh, and congratulations on the network whom you must have naked pictures posing with farm animals possibly making a TV show about your life! How fucking ridiculous cool! It will surely set negative ratings records over/under on cancellation date? Three episodes.
And give my best to that sexy Scott Van Pelt, who took you to the woodshed offered a rebuttal on your Rodgers stance on Monday. Too bad ESPN Milwaukee can’t put him in your timeslot.
But please continue to grace us with your obnoxious, ignorant, opinions. If you ever put them down on paper, I might be interested in obtaining a copy. I seem to be running out of toilet paper and need something to wipe with.