From a professional football perspective, this weekend sucked. I seriously questioned WHY I sat and watched the Bears and the Vikings on Sunday. I should have done yard work. It was literally IMPOSSIBLE to root for one team, so I started rooting for whoever was on defense. I cheered when both Favre and Cutler threw INT’s (they certainly didn’t disappoint).  I tried to reason WHY I wanted one team to win over the other, but I was kidding myself. My eyes rolled back into my head so many times that I could read the label on the back of my sweatshirt.

Then, it came time for the late games and I thought, “At least I have some fantasy players I can root for.” Unfortunately, they all played on the Giants. Damn, I hope they roll over like that when it comes time to play the Packers. I actually had to depend on the Pittsburgh kicker to pull out a victory for me on Sunday night and he BARELY did that. I won by one point.

Last night was the ESPN Monday Night Football Michael Vick Redemption Bowl. Simply put, I was in full blown football Hell by this point. I am not opposed to second chances, and yes, Mr. Vick did his “time,”  but I also volunteer at a no-kill animal shelter and have seen what abuse looks like and find what Mr. Vick did to be repugnant. I don’t care how many times Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden lecture me from the broadcast booth about how I should respect what Vick is accomplishing on the field, or how many columnists make excuses for his behavior by saying that he was simply raised wrong. I even read a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer a couple months ago (the week after he made his appearance against the Packers) saying that people who don’t want Michael Vick to succeed feel that way because they are white. Really? No, REALLY? Has nothing to do with the fact that I simply love dogs and find what he did to be disgusting. Has ZERO to do with the amount of dogs I’ve seen come through the shelter with scars from owners who thought this little past time was fun? Eat shit. Seriously.

Every Tuesday at 9:00 am, our fantasy football league is open to free agency. This is when you can get rid of the injured (and the players who suck), and pick up a free agent. I’ve always been an antsy “what have you done for me lately” owner. I also tend to think with my heart, thus usually drafting too many Packers and steadfastly refusing to draft Bears or Vikings. Yes, I’m the one who drafted Aaron Rodgers ahead of Adrian Peterson.  I don’t have a problem with that move, either.

Today, I did something I feel a little guilty about. I had two defenses on my roster. I didn’t need both, and since the Giants defense laid a big fat freaking egg against the Cowboys on Sunday, I got rid of them. Who did I pick up? Michael Vick. Now, hear me out. He scored 60 points last night, a league record for a single player. If I didn’t pick him up, someone else would have and probably would start him against me.  My team (appropriately named, You’re Killing Me, Smalls ) is currently 5-5 and the playoffs are approaching. Here is my justification. I do not plan to use him. Now that the Packers BYE is over, Aaron Rodgers will start every game, and if for some reason, he can’t (knock on wood), I also have Joe Flacco. No. I am hoarding Mr. Vick. Puppy Killa will sit on my bench for the rest of the season.  I won’t use him, and no one else will, either. Muh-hahahahaha!

Hypocritical, or strategic? I prefer to think of myself as a cutthroat Fantasy Football Bitch. You’re not using him against me, dammit.

Ugh. I just saw someone on Twitter mention Vick and MVP in the same Tweet. Can I vomit now? Or, as someone brilliantly Tweeted, “I prefer to think of Mike Vick covered in peanut butter and set in a room full of pit bulls.” Yeah, that.

It’s Viking Week, and Brett Favre is once again complaining about injuries. Ever notice that these injuries always occur after a loss? If the Vikings win, he feels GREAT.  But after a loss, he’s limping and holding body parts so that we’re all clear on WHY he lost.

One more reason BYE weeks suck. Al Harris (pictured above)  and Mark Tauscher (below). Thanks to both of you. Tausch is still on the team, simply placed on IR, but with Ted Thompson tending to think that the number “30″ next to a player’s birthday is actually an expiration date, who knows if the Wisconsin boy will ever be back in a Packers uniform. And that makes me sad. Al Harris signed with his home town team, the Miami Dolphins. He could have signed with any NFC North divisional foe. They were all interested. But, I guess mature men think playing close to home and family is more important than manipulating the system in order to play against the Packers simply out of revenge or spite. Refreshing.

Anyone having difficulty getting motivated for this weekend’s Green Bay/Minnesota clash (yeah, right), please read Ol’Bag of Donuts latest blog entry . Heh. Perfect.

Mark Tauscher


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  • Wally

    Don’t feel bad Anita, I picked up Vick a while ago and plan on riding him to the playoffs in my league. With the exception of Packers players, I look at all fantasy football players as mindless automatons whose only purpose is to score points for me. They are only a means to an end…which is of course to Lord my superior talent & match-up evaluation skills over those I triumph over.

  • http://PocketDoppler Carol

    Hey anita—you sure we aren’t twins separated at birth? I watched the Chicago/Minne game (down here in The Flatland), cheering at the interceptions, laughing at Favre on his ass. (Except I wouldn’t have been doing yardwork—I’d be out riding my horse.) As for Vick, you need to add pieces of hot dogs stuck in the peanut butter….strategically placed, of course. We still have the Vick cartoons on bulletin boards at work (an animal hospital)….Vick being judged by a jury of Astro, Augie Doggie, Marmaduke, etc. And finally, *well said* regarding Harris signing with Miami instead of our divisional foes. *Loved* the “…mature men, manipulating the system, revenge or spite”. Touche’!!

  • Nick

    How the hell was Vick a free agent? What kind of fantasy owners are you playing against?

  • Julie

    Really excellent fantasy owners :-)…Come one now, Vick didn’t even play weeks 5-7 and had a bye for week 8…and posted 29 points (in our league) in week 9. He was not necessarily a “must have” player (she says regretting that she didn’t pick him up early this a.m.)

  • Colleen

    I love it. I can’t stand Michael Vick and that will never change. People who abuse animals are an abomination. Period. I can’t believe people keep being “delighted” with how he’s playing. Even Eagles fans.

  • Anita

    Yeah, he was sitting out there on the free agent list mainly because he had missed so many games. I have no idea why no one thought to pick him up this week. You snooze, you lose, I guess.

    We don’t have large rosters in our league. Most can’t afford to hold a player to see when/if he is going to return. I did that with Darren McFadden, but I nearly lost patience with him and was THISCLOSE to putting him out there. Our teams play one QB, two RB, two WR, one WR/TE, one defense and a kicker. Your bench holds just 5 players.

  • Tarynfor 12

    Anita,you speak of disgust of Vick and what he did and yet find a way to justify supporting him even if in Fantasy Football.

    Do some sole searching, please.

  • Anita

    Sole searching? As in “Filet of?” That sounds kinda tasty. And it is suppertime.

    I am not supporting Michael Vick. I’m hording him so NO ONE gets to use him. He won’t be playing. He’ll be buried on my bench for the rest of the season, unused, where his point totals won’t count. No one can touch him. So, basically, I’m keeping everyone in my league from using him to win. I’m doing a service. Whoever wins that small cash prize at the end of the year, will have to do so without the Puppy Killa!

  • Tarynfor 12

    Anita,my apologies than,I got misunderstood.