CHICKS DIG SCARS: Hey Rex! How does that post-game snack taste?
Bet it tasted like vinegar, you obnoxious blow hard. Yeah, and I read your lips a few times on Sunday, too. Especially after your challenges didn’t quite pan out the way you’d hoped.
The Packers beat the New York Jets on Halloween, 9-0, Yeah, it wasn’t exactly a barn burner. Aaron Rodgers’ day was the statistical equivalent of dog doo, giving his critics something to bitch about (something they do when he throws for 300 yards, as well). But you know what? SO-effing-what. No interceptions, windy conditions, and playing against a HEALTHY, rested, top ranked defense? He did what he had to do to WIN and that’s all that counts. The Packers beat the AFC favorite as far as Super Bowl aspirations are concerned. I’m sure New England and Pittsburgh beg to differ, but ask the Jets….they’ll tell you. Did you watch HardKnocks? They think they’re the shit. Heh. Whatever. Greg Jennings went Trick or Treating on Revis Island and stole all his candy. Booya! He also brought his “little friends” Mason Crosby and Tim Masthay. Did I just type that? Mason Crosby and Tim Masthay. HAD. A. GOOD. GAME. It really was Halloween, wasn’t it?
The defense, held together by duct tape and last minute signees, was awesome. You think Rodgers had a mediocre game? Pretty Boy Sanchez had it even worse. He heard the footsteps of his old college teammate, Clay Matthews, ALL AFTERNOON. And how about the new guy? Ten tons of fun named Howard Green (defensive lineman, 6’2″, 365 lbs), released by the Jets and claimed by the Packers last week. Oh, Rex. Not a smart move. Not only did he come back to Jersey with a chip on his shoulder, but you think he might have passed on a few of your secrets and tendencies to his new teammates? Oh, I think it’s a safe bet that he did. Rock on, Mr. Green. Maybe the local Burger Kings will name a sandwich after you like they did with Gilbert Brown.
As badly as people seem to think that Rodgers has played this year, at the halfway point of the season, he is over 2000 yards passing. That’s on pace for a third straight 4000 yard season. So, suck it, critics.
It’s never boring in the NFC North. Especially when you share the division with the Vikings. Their Halloween wasn’t so good. Brett Favre was once again thrown around like a rag doll. Is he actually ENJOYING this season? Remember all the talk about “love of the game,” and “he plays like a kid.” Not this year. He’s getting the crap kicked out of him physically and looks like he’d rather be sitting on his mower in Mississippi (if facial expressions and body language is any indication). The New England defense hit him so hard that he had to be carted off, holding his jaw, sparking murmurs of sympathy (again), only to be miraculously fine when a microphone was stuck in front of his face, post-game. If he doesn’t stop soon, he’s going to be sharing Gerber strained peas with his grandson. But, the funniest thing was that Favre’s medical condition wasn’t the top story for very long. The Randy Moss Crazy Train pulled into the station right after Chilly and Favre were done talking to the media, and the dysfunction has been going full steam ever since. His post game bitching and rambling ticked Childress off so much that he released Moss the following day, and evidently forgot to talk it over with the team owner. Bud Selig must have been really pissed. Moss and the Vikings soap opera knocked the freaking WORLD SERIES off the sports pages.
When the news hit the Twitterverse, it was like Christmas morning in Packerland. The jokes were flying so fast it was hard to keep up with them. This one was my favorite: